For the Love of Dolls

MAJOR RL update of doom.

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:33:09 GMT

ALRIGHT.

Lots of stuff to talk about.

First things first: Look who arrived~!

This is a Soom Gena head, previously R727's Falen. She is currently bodyless, but oh so lovely~! I'm hoping she will be Svetlana Kiminski, Lorien's girlfriend. x3 We shall see who she becomes, ne? I need to get her smaller eyes, and her own wig. I think I'll go with mo-hair for her, I liked how it looked all spikey. 83

Anywho~

So, lot's of stuff to cover. My job has been good. yesterday, a lady came in, buying cat food. She was talking with her mom, so she was really distracted. -_- She ended up leaveing her credit cards and ID behind, and when she left, she dropped her sunglasses and the lens popped out, so she threw them away. >> Since I was bored, I dug them back out ( not really dug, they were right on top ) and fixed them, then noticed she had left her cards. I turned them into the Manager, and they put it in the Cash Office. ^^ So today she came by, and she was so thankful when I recognized her and told her I fixed her sunglasses. She was really happy, and it made me feel all warm inside, lol.

The customers are pretty good at petsmart, ignoring the few druggies and attempted theives we have had. >> Except for one lady, the 'Purple Friskies Cat Lady', as I have come to call her. She's just really snippy and harsh. She doesn't say much, but what she does say makes you feel stupid and kind of like a jerk. -_- Even though you didn't do anything. the first time I met her, my manager yelled at me because she went into the back, where OBVIOUSLY your not suppose to go, and my manager thought I let her back there. -_- Which I didn't. And then today she asked me why I scanned this item twice, when there were two boxes of it, and I only thought there were one, so I scanned two. -_- She made me feel like I was an idiot. It was kind of annoying.

But work is fun. <3 I get to see so many animals, like snakes, Great Dane puppies, and sugar gliders. 83

And it's a really small world, you know? one of my managers is married to a guy I knew in High School, whos' one of my brothers friends that he sees every week. XD

Though there was drama yesterday... -_- A guy I have a long history with, back from High School, suddenly showed up at work yesterday. It was... surprising. I ended up calling my best bud when I got home and breaking down over the phone. --_-- Not to mention that yesterday morning, I nearly lost my wallet. if I hadn't returned my book yesterday, I never would have realized it was missing. I spent about half an hour fuitlessly searching for it, on the verge of tears in my car when a sweet blonde woman asked if my name was 'Anna', and said she thinks she foudn my wallet. TT-TT God bless that woman, wherever, whoever she is. I was nearly crying.

XD So I broke down twice yesterday, lol. no fun there.

Then the night before, I almost got in an argument with my father. I owe him Insurance money, and so he's demanded $50 from my next paycheck, and to see my check stub. -_- Now, I don't feel bad about it, but at the time, it was just one of those things where I felt like I was being yelled at, and that he was being wholly unfair. So half of my paycheck goes to dad, and the other half goes in the Suberbans unfillable gas tank. =_= Stupid car.

Uuuuuum, yeah~! Is there anything else?

I have a decision to make.

I can either have Mikail, a Crobidoll YS, with a custom faceup. They come with eyes I beleive.

OR

I can have a Limited DOD Elf Kirill, with all of his origional stuff. Like, everything.

The Kirill I think will be... about $20-$30 dollars more. T_T I don't know which one to choose anymore. on one hand, I would really love to have Mikail. That would be so awesome. On the other hand, I've always like the Elf Kirill, and this is the only one I've seen that is coming with EVERYTHING. But I don't have a character for him....

TT_TT I dunno which to choose. Both are to good to be true, and I'm still suspiscious ( >> I'm talkin to you Bec. XD ), but it's adamant....

D: What do you think?

Ignore this post.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:53:51 GMT

AUUUGH!!

AUUUUUUUGHHH!!

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

EVIL SHOU!! BACK!! JERK! PANSY! DIE! GET AWAY FROM HER!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!! IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMSS!! OR IT BETTER NOT BE! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

EMPLOYEE is ME.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:55:34 GMT

I'VE BEEN HIRED BY PETSMART!! I never realized how much it pays to have someone on the inside. o_o Connections are KEY. Connections are GOOD. BLESSED. GODSEND.

THANK YOU SHAWN!!!!!!

I'm so happy! I have a job! Training begins tommorow~! I WILL HAVE MONEY!!! I CAN GET DOLLS!!!! OMG I CAN GET DOLLS!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

On another note, my internet is being completely and absolutely RETARDED. It will dissconnect for FIVE SECONDS, which will throw all of my windows into a CRAZY WACKED OUT SCREAM FEST. =_= I REALLY hate it. It's REALLY begining to bug me. *twitch*

So yes. News must come in two's, I suppose.

I'm going to go play a game now to calm down.

PS- Sa-chan, are we gonna make the Kernels of Genius? 8D

DONE NAOW.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:11:54 GMT

UGH. Job interview is OVER!! XD It's only ever stressful on the actual day, lol. But i think I did good. I knew the manager (a little) since he's a freind of my parents. He was really nice. It was interesting, because instead of sitting inside an office for the interview, we went around the store. he showed me where eveything was, told me some terminology, and showed me this pretty small parrot that they have... a Codor or something. X3 SO MANY CUTE ANIMALS EVERYWHERE!!! I so want to work there (at Petsmart) lol. I would love to be surrounded by animals all day ~<3

But I think it went well. =_= It seemed to be going in my favor... and they showed me a video talking about Petsmart and stuff. Do they usually do that? maybe they do. Whatever, it's all done. I had to drive up tot he hospital to take a drug test (which I know I passed), so now all I have to do is wait.

Hurry up and wait. ^^

So yeah. All's well now.

Um, what else... school is fine. I found I'm far more comfrotable drawing naked woman then men. ( Oh yeah, I'm in a Life Drawing class. We draw nude models. ) -.- I mean, I've seen a naked woman all my life (ME) so I really don't care about seeing other naked women. Seeing naked men is a completely diffrent thing... I don't know, I don't like it. It doesn't so much make me nervous as it does make me... tenacious. It's not like he was fat or ugly or anything, his body was in wonderful shape. I'm sure some people would love to see naked men all the time, lol, but I don't really... -.- The only nekid men I wanna see is dolls. And it's not like I'm bi either, that I want to see naked women, it's just that I'm far more at ease with that than men. =_=

Am I babbling? That's what journals are for right? Babbling?

Ugh, I'm tired, and I'm wearing makeup. XP Maybe I'll take a nap....

This be an RL update. Enjoy.

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:52:02 GMT

Aaaaah~ I love Ren.

Um, anyway, school has started. Seems alright, though I'm a little bummed about it. My favorite art teacher got a full time job at the University of Minnesota it seems. So now I have a new teacher for my Life Drawing class, which I'm already nervous about because I'm going to be drawing real live nude people. I know I'll be fine, but it would have been a lot more comfortable for me with a teacher who made class fun, you know? My new teacher seems very... by-the-book. Which means boring out-of-the-book assignments that I'm sure help with building your skills, but are REALLY uninteresting to do, and usually kill my creative juices in the process. So we will see what happens.... Math is fine though. I did get the teacher I wanted for Math, and it's out in one of the rim buildings on the campus, so I don't have to fight for a parking spot in the morning. As it were, I have one class every day.... kind of stupid planning on my part, but i was aiming for good teachers, not trying to compact my time. Which I'm begining to regret. I have to wake up at 8am on Mon/Wed/Fri, and at 7am on Tue/Thurs... but the only other art classes I can take right now on Mon/Wed/Fri are at 6pm. And that really kills the point of compacting my day. So we'll just go through as long as we can.

And I REALLY need a job. I'm not gonna be able to survive without one. At least before I had a job with mom, but now? I have NOTHING. UGH.

Yesterday I was in bed half the day because my stomach hurt. It is really annoying that I cannot eat most breakfast foods anymore... I really like breakfast. But whenever I eat a bagel, or cereal, or just whatever, my insides hate me for the rest of the day. Not very fun, because I really can't go through my school morning wihtout eating something. It's terrible, and I get really sleepy, and I start shaking and all that jazz. Not my favorite thing ever...

Um, birthday has come and gone. And now I'm 20. It seems like a big thing, but next year I'm 21, and that kind of dwarf's 20 in the responibility meter, doesn't it? But this was one of my favorite birthdays, by a lot. I really enjoyed it, so thank you all who came and made my day awesome~!

Also, it seems I have an uncanny ability to accidently buy Romance novels without meaning to. Sah-chan, you know what I'm talking about. But it was a REALLY good book!! Acheron is love!! ACHERON IS LOVE!! I haven't gotten so mad and happy at a book in a while. Crazy nonsense there.

So, um... I bought the first one. On purpose. At a grocery store. SHOOT ME NOW.

I tried to not put any emotes in this post. I can't beleive I did it... It's surprisingly difficult. I'm gonna have to cut back on that.

Dangerous Day Dream's

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:22:30 GMT

Well, I promised Washington pictures, and I actually came through with it. ^^ And not only that, I got a story with the pictures. Have some Alex and Lorien, just to prove to you all that they don't really hate each other as much as it seems. ^^

"Mikail..."

"I don't... understand.... why..."

"Alex? Hey, Alex, why are you clinging to me? Wake up idiot."

Alex suddenly awakened, snapping upright. Immedietly, a smile came to his lips, pale pink eyes looking at Lorien drowsily as he spoke. "Oh Lorien? Whatever are you talking about?" The redhead snorted softly, an eyebrow lifting at the others act. "Nice attempt. You were talking in your sleep. Who's Mikail?"

The blond vampire smiled, humming in the back of his throat as he released Lorien's arm, resettling himself on the fallen tree they stood beside. "Mm, who indeed. How in the world did I fall sleep sitting up?" Lorien's eyes narrowed, turning and leaning heavily on an arm, his voice tinted with blame and annoyance. "Probably because you haven't had any blood in a month. Who's Mikail?"

He turned his head away, looking down to the ground as a slightly condescending laugh left his lips. "Since when do you keep track of my eating habits?" "Since you attacked me for a meal. Who's Mikail?"

Alex winced, lifting a hand to his head, slender fingers slipping into his hair, pulling it in front of his face to hide his look of guilt. "I apologized for that, Lorien. And please stop asking me about Mikail." "So he is real. What did he do to you?" Alex scowled, about to snap back at the teen... before he paused, eyes turning confused as he looked at the redhead beside him. "What did he do to me? What do you mean?"

Lorien's gaze was steady as he stared back at him, face determined. "You sounded confused... and hurt. He did something to you, right?"

Alex stared, looking surprised before a small, bitterly amused smile came to his lips. "...That sounds surprisingly caring Lorien." The red head scowled, annoyance flashing through his blue eyes. "Shut up. I'm not joking around, Alex. You haven't been well lately. Me and Shin both have noticed it. So tell me what's wrong."

Alex smiled, pushing of the log as he turned, stepping around to it's end. "Oh Lorien, your imagining it. I'm perfectly fine." The red head turned, setting his back against the wood as he looked at the back of the vampires head, his voice softening slightly as worry seeped into his tone. "Alex, seriously, what's wrong? This isn't the first time you've been muttering apologies in your sleep. And now your starving yourself again... Why?"

The blond leaned back against the end of the log, examining his fingernails nonchalantly. "Not eating has nothing to do with talking in my sleep," he insisted, though he was unable to meet the others gaze, feeling blue eyes burning into the back of his skull. "Liar. The last time you didn't eat was after Shin had taken off his necklace to save you."

He kept his gaze locked on the other, determined to get to the bottom of this. "You don't eat when you feel guilty, or ashamed over something you've done. And Shin has already convinced you that his scales aren't your fault. And I already said that I forgive you for drinking form me that time. So the only option left is that it has to do with the nightmares you've been having."

Alex paused, staring out over the tree's and river near by, his face falling slightly. "...You know I've been having nightmares?" Lorien nodded to his back, shifting against the log. "For a while now. I heard you once, when I was going past your room on my way to work. You mentioned Mikail then too."

Alex was silent for a moment, his gaze falling to the ground again. His hand shifted, resting lightly on his chest, like he had a soft pain there. "...does Shin know?" Lorien paused, before shaking his head in the negative. "Not about the nightmares. I haven't told him."

"Good." The vampires sighed, his hand falling slightly as his gaze became distant. "Don't tell him. And don't worry about me, Lorien. I's an old wound... it will fade again, in time. It always does." "What if it doesn't this time?"

Slowly, the vampires pink eyes regained some of their color, glimmering with that unique spark they held so dear. He smiled, an eyebrow lifting slightly as he spoke. "Well, I'll just have to attack you again, won't I?" Lorien smiled slightly, snorting in mock annoyance.

"Asshole."

~ The End ~

Viola~! ^^ See, see?! They understand each other! Their buddies! They know they are there for each other if they need it. But it's a different friendship than their friendship with Shin. And they are growing! They are starting to take more care of Shin, trying to shield him from to many of their troubles. Because Shin's the kind to try and take everything upon himself, and he could get hurt in the end if he does. So they're growing stronger, and trying not to overburden him. So they confide in each other as well. A bond, a sort of brotherly bond! Lol, I love these two. <3

Coming next will be pictures of Shin. ^^ He really enjoyed the creek behind my grandparents house.

P.S- Lorien looked really ridiculous in that black wig I put him in. It's suppose to be the illusion of Mikail that Alex sees in his sleep. XD In case you didn't get it?

I'm home. Can air conditioners MELT?

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:56:51 GMT

Dear Phoenicians:
How do you people live here? How is this city inhabitable? Phoenix, AZ, the gate to the fires of hell. Seriously, its wrong how hot it is here. ;o; Take mne back to Washington! With green and water and cool breezes!!

Yes, I'm back. Washington trip was a blast, and I already can't wait to go again. But I am a little happy to be home, with my friends, internet connection, and real bed. Just wished we could have brought some of the clouds with us. Our welcome home gift was something i could have done without though: it seems that our air conditioner MELTED while we were gone. If that isn't a clue, I don't know what is. So it was even hot inside the house as well as out. But luckily we got it fixed the next day, so we didn't melt along with the appliances.

I took lots of pictures, hopefully some of them turned out as nice as I wanted, so look for those coming up. I had some fun with Alex, I think... he's so lovely, and stole the spotlight as usual. XP I've been thinking about their stroy a lot lately, and I even worked out their world, and why it is the way it is, why beings like Mikael are possible, why Shin's dragon blood is trying to kill him, and also why Shin is so innocent and naive. (Yes, there IS an actual reason!).

Because Mikail shouldn't be possible, being a specific sort of being. Beings that were killed by holy swords and reborn from them at seemingly random times. It shouldn't work that way, but it does. (Because the world is out of wack, thanks to the Human Government. Evil people. I really hate them now. T-T ) I'm working on the kinks, but I know that Mikails race is called the 'Thusia Vekra', which is 'dead sacrafice' in Greek. Woot.

Right, jumping back on the right train... Washington was awesome. My friend is leaving today back to California, so I spent all last night swimming with her and some others. ToT I will miss you Ang-chan!!

I'm signing up for school, and already not looking forward to it. It's such a hassle, all the classes i want to take are all interfering with each other... BLEH. I'm aiming for a Writing class, Art WaterOn a little bit better news, I'm going to go and see about a job later today, and hopefully get it. It's nice to have connections at old workplaces. >:3

So yush... um, that's all I can think of right now. XD My bodies sore from playing 'Chicken' in the pool.

It's hard to be hyper in text form. =3=

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:24:54 GMT

Been a while, hasn't it? But nothing really happened. The party was a SUCCESS, despite the fact that everyone but the one from Tuscon thought it was Saturday, and it therefore got melded into a doll/Rock Band party, lol. >>;; Did you all have fun? Or am I delusional? ;o;
I'm going to try and do the same thing for my birthday party next month (August) , or something similair anyway. XD All my friends seem to be doll friends now, except for, like... three, lol. I don't mind though, I like doll meet party things. SO ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE INVITED AGAIN, KK?! I just don't know the date or time yet. >>;; I will make sure to make it clear which day it is this time, lmao. I know for sure it's going to be after the 9th and before the 20th, so don't plan anyting in there. XD I'm so bossy....

Um, Me and Sephora tanned her 'million dollar baby' (JK, a joke I JUST thought up), an Elf Ducan who use to house her character Moak. After a rough sort of bit in their relationship, Moak decided to switch molds, so Say-chan was all 'maybe we should tan him' and I was like 'YUSH!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!' Lol, I enjoyed that WAY to much. XD t\Testing a tanning process on an Elf Ducan, aren't we lovely insane people? But it turned out SO WELL!! XD OMG, I love him now, lol. I hope Say-chan loves him as well, and I think she does, she looked rather pleased. She's gonna let his character manifest itself, lol. I'm excited, I always love her characters.

On that note, a new character is infesting himself in my head. CURSE IT ALL!!! XD Darn you use-to-be-Moak-elf-ducan doll!! I'm falling in love with a doll that isn't mine, and developing a character off of him?! XD What is this nonsense? LOL it'll be alright though, because now I know that I can tan Mikael, as WELL as the Lu-Wen head, who may work for this character in my mind... or maybe I've finally found an excuse to get a Crobidoll Lance? But he has no elf ears, which are key... BLEEEEEH No more!! There's so many.... ;o; *is buried under desires*

I need to find a way to sneak into D's mom's house and steal her Senior Delf boy, and see how a head Mikael's size (Alex's head should work) would look on their smexy body.... I know the skin wouldn't match, but that's fine, because I'm TANNING IT~!!! I ahm GENIUS!! Anyway, D, do you think it's possible to meet up with you for that? ;o; Maybe you can come to brithday party, yes? Your mother is invited as well, with her lovelies (BREAKAWAY!!! *goes into convulsions*).

It's hard to be hyper in text form. =3=

But anyway, um, I'm working on smoothing out the tanning job on Mr. Ducan, as well as giving him a faceup. As such, I've kind of begun to... ignore belzer? ;o; No, I'm not ignoring him, but there's a lot of work to do on Mr. Ducan, and I SO wanna put him together... I will get to you Belzer, do not worry!

As it were, I'm leaving Thursday. Me and the family are going to Washington to visit my grandparents for our yearly family trip. However~! This time, since dad got a Harley Davidson motorcycle this year, he's going to be going to Sturgis for the famous Bike Week thing they have there, with his new bike. He's ALWAYS wanted to go, so I'm really happy he's going with a biker friend of his. XD They are going on their bikes though, so they may have to take it a little slow. So, because we have room, SAY-CHAN is coming with me, my mom and brothers to WASHINGTON!!! I'm so excited, I've always wanted to take her up there, and she's always wanted to go, so now we are~! It will be fun. I wanna finish Mr. Ducan before we leave, so we can take pictures of him up there. I'm hoping to finish him by Wednesday, and take some pictures of him in diffrent eyes and wigs, and then debate with her on Thursday. XD Of course, we may just bring all the wigs and junk we have to Washington, but it's best to TRY and conserve space. We're suppose to pack a little light, so yeah...

Um, so we will be going to Washington Thursday, and driving back on the 8th, getting home on the 9th. ^^ We are driving there from Arizona, straight through, in our awesome Dodge Diesel truck. Stopping to have lunch with mom's best friend... so in all, it's going to take us about 26-28 hours to get there. ^^ We've done it before, we are the crazy driving family. heck, we drove from here to NEW YORK, ok? XD We love road trips.

SO yes, that is what's happening in my life. ^^ I'll tyr to upload some dollie pictures on here soon, IU just need to edit them, lol. I got an awesome mirror photoshoot sequence, so yeah, I'll post that sometime. ^^ Thanks all~!

P.S- My fingers smell like brush cleaner. XD

Am I crying?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 05:40:17 GMT

I just had a terrible feeling. I shouldn't look at dolls I'm trying to buy. My lack of money suddenly just came down in a crashing sort of wave. I'm seeing all these people get new dolls, and talk about how happy they are, and how excited they are about the character and stuff like that. And I mean, I'm happy for them and all, becaus ethat's so awesome. But dang it, it's been like a year since i got a new doll. I'm nto saying I'm bored with any of the one's I have, or anything like that. I love all three of them so much, and they keep making new ideas pop upo in my head.

But I want another so badly. I want Mikail, and the thought that I may not have enough money to buy him from the site makes me want to cry. Jeez, I just want to cry right now, actually. I want him, and I want Lorien's little sister. A mini, I want a mini. I don't know, I want them both so bad, SO BAD. I seriously want to cry right now, I'm just crushed with this desire for another doll in my hands, or sitting in my lap. I WANT A NEW DOLL. I want to continue my story!! It's so weird, like, I could just write it all out and crap, but lately i keep seeing how my sotry is gonna end, or at leats this section is going to end, and I keep getting more ideas, but I feel like I'm stopping myself because the main characters aren't all here yet. It's like, I don't want to write that far when I don't even have MIKAIL!! I want to write it out, but I don't, because Mikail isn't here! I want him so bad, it's like I'm stuck, with my foot shoved in a crack and twisting and cracking my bones. It hurts, cure it all. I want my characters!! I need money!! I want a freakin job!! Why can't the job I have now pay me more? Why the hell did I ever quit the last one? Why did I think I could live off of helping my mom with her work?! If I'd kept my stupid job before, I would have been able to buy allt hree of them by now, and could probably have another one!! I want to continue my doll family, I want to take pictures of them all!! i want them to be happy together, I want Lorien to be able to hold his girlfriend, I want Shin to be able to take walks with his father!! I want Alex to re-form his friend ship with Mikail! I want my loves to be happy, cure it all!!

Jeez, I have no idea where this came from. I've been so happy, my parents are going on an awesome trip that mom's been wanting to go on, I get friends over, i get a mini doll meet, I was just ast a friends house. I mean, I am way happy right now.

I guess looking at all the dolls people are getting, happily fawning over their new loves is making me sad. I SO wnat to be happy with them, to proudly shop pictures of MY new dolls, of my slaved over characters, the fruits of my labor, but I CAN'T!!! Becaue I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB!!! I hate this so much, it's begining to piss me off. Damn school is next month, and I just said 'oh yeah, I'll pay for it all myself'. Fucking school, why the hell do you have freakin $100 books?! It's fucking paper!!

Crap, I am crying. Why, dunno. I just want the things i love. I know I'm being stupid for getting so worked up over this, but I've had to much of not getting emotional in my life. Screw logic right now, I don't care. I know I'm being stupid, but whatevr. Maybe I just needed a cry or some shit like that. Maybe I'm PMSing? Weird. Whatver, I'll feel better in a few minutes.

Bleh. Sorry. Whatever. I'm going to go fill out FAFSA and apply for fucking Fry's now.

'It's a Dry Heat', DOLL PARTY PLANS, and stuffs.

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:04:02 GMT

Stupid people. It's still HOT. I don't care what kind of heat, it's still BLOOMIN' HEAT!! BUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNSSSS!!!

Actually, it's been kind of nice here in the desert state, becuase it's been cloudy. 8D 90% outside, can you believe it? How lovely~! ~~shot~~ Lmao, anyway. The last two days, meaning yesterday and today, I have been doing MANUAL LABOR. 8D Crazy stuff, lol. It's kind of fulfilling. For those who do not know,. I work inside, at a desk, putting numbers into a computer. Or I go driving around, picking up and dropping off cars and their innards. Involves a lot of sitting down and concentrating.

Painting an acre long metal fence requires none of the following. It's standing and crouching, and painting with sticky paint. But really, it is kind of nice, despite my sore legs and slightly swollen palm and all together really high body temperature during the process. It's gratifying, to see what you've done with your own two hands on materialistic things. ^^ And I listen to my ipod during the time, and the hours really just fly by... which is nice when getting paid by the hour, lol. But anyway. I'm a little more tan on my arms and face now, lol. And oddly i feel more awake and rejuvenated. ^^ Nothing like hard work once in a while to make your body function right again. Almost makes me want to do it all the time, except I know that would suck, lol.

Though I just noticed, since I was wearing gloves the entire time, my arms are tanned, and my hands are still pale. XD Lol, I be wearin' skin gloves! XD It was also kind of morbidly gratifyuing to watch as bugs landed ont he freshly painted fence, got their feet stuck and squirmed, which made their wings get tipped in paint, which therefore made it to heavy to fly. Which therefore cause them to die, stuck to the fence, basted like little bit's of black smudge. >3 How awesome is that? Stupid bugs, serves you right! I rejoice in your death!

*cough* Yes, anyway. >>;;;

Uuuuuum, oh, my parents will be leaving town exactly a week from now. They are going on a trip to California, to the Hotel Del Coronado, which is SUPER AWESOME AND FANCY PRETTY!! 8D I'm so happy for mom, she LOVES that hotel, but it's so expensive, she never could find a good enough reason to spend the money on it. And then a friend told her they were selling their rooms for half off!! And she told dad, kind of as a topic conversation, not really expecting anythng, and dad was like 'Hey, let's go for your birthday.' 8D Way to go dad! Brownie points for you, lol!!

So yeah, that's cool. 8D AND so, I get the house to myself!! And what else to do in my house, by myself, but have a doll party!! So, Dee, Gen, Elf, and all you's, be expectin' texts from me ( Actually, Elf, do I have your number? ;-; And Say-luv, I told you already. XD ) And please invite doll friends whom do not watch me or I do not remember the names of at the current moment ( FORGIVE ME!! I KNOW YOU EXIST!! ToT )~! Lol, though it would be helpfull if you guys told me who was coming. >> Need to plan snacks and lunch and all. I'm trying to plan it for around noon or 1, if you think that will work? ^^ Please give me a call or txt~!

Um, lesse, this weekend Im'a going to my friends house for Saturday-Sunday, hopefully. We're gonna stop by my brothers, where she will cook and we will watch Sweeney Todd. -^^- Lol, 'Have a little Priest'.

Uuuums, oh, I have paid off my insurance bill, so I can start saving for better things now!! T_T $250... I want it back... I could have bought that head from you, R727, if not for the cursed insurance. But it is next!! T_T I'm almost there!! Hopefully, with my next paycheck, I shall be sending you a message!! T_T I hope you still have it... I promised you first, so you are top of the list. ^^

STILL JOB HUNTING. Crap, I should just apply to stupid Fry's. *groans and rolls about for a few minutes*

I have to paint Sketch. T_T I have a blank doll head that needs to be done by Saturday waiting for me. DO IT. Bleh. I want to, but my computer is so sloooow, and I must haves my RPing while I paaaaint...

Bleh, I'll go in there in a minute. Anyway, that's whats up~!!! XD Bye all!

Update: Movies, Writing, Dolls, and a bit more Story

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:17:26 GMT

Also posted in my dA journal.

Let's start with the movies, ne?

Well, this weekend seems to be movie weekend, lol. yesterday, I went and saw 'Up', and today I saw 'Terminator: Salvation'. Both were wonderful. ^^ I saw up with my mom and brothers, and two other friends. It was way cute, lol. And a new record, the first five minutes made me cry. XD Lmao. But it was seriously really good and an 'up'lifting movie. *slaps self*

Then I saw terminator today... And I have to say it again.

My Favorite Character always dies.

Yep yep yep. XD I wont spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it, but yes, it has happened agaim lol. Despite, the movie was incredibly awesome, with an appearence of someone who we all wondered if he was going to appear, and he did not fail us. XD "Big, bad, and naked." LOL!! Yeah, don't worry about it, lol. XD Inside joke. But yes, it was awesome, though I got a little dizzy once or twice.

Awesome movies.

Now for the doll stuuuufff....

So, currently, I am desperatly feeling the need for three dolls. there are a heck of a lot more that I intend to buy, but they will come later. Right now, there are three that have been constantly nagging me, and contantly been on my mind. Who are they, you ask?

Mikail, Alex's fledgling.
Svetlana, Lorien's Girlfriend.
And Candy, Lorien's little sister (real name not yet decided. XD).

I have been constantly thinking, writing, and making sketches in my head of these three. Ugh, I want them so badly. Soon I will be getting a better job (still applying and working stuff out), and the ball for my dollie buying will start rolling again. I am definitely getting Mikail first, since he is a limited doll, and though he's been up there for a while, I do not want to risk it. I want to try and get Candy at the same time, since they are both from the same company, and that will cut on shipping cost in the end, I'm pretty sure. Oh yeah, Mikail is a Delf Vamp. Lu-Wen, and Candy is a Kid Delf Ani girl. I'm gonna save like crazy for them now. Then I'll try and get Sev, who is a DOD E-AN.

There are a few thinsg I need to do while saving for them, as I'll probably be making a few minor purchases between here and there. Shin needs new eyes and a new wig, and I promised R727 a buy from her that I really want to keep. I'm gonne stop myself from buying any clothes and whatnot until I get another job, and even then I'll try and stop myself, lol. I need to, of course, do some actual non-doll things with my money as well, which will mainly involve insurance debt with my parents. Hopefully, nothing drastic will happen, and all will go according to plan.

But MAN do I want those three. No other's before them, nu-uh. Thos ethree are at the top of my list, and they are definitely next. ^.~ So wish me luck, lol! 'Cause that *points to list* is where we are heading!

And then, writing...

Me and Sarah have been missing NaNoWriMo pretty badly (if you don't know what it is, google National Novel Writing Month). And lucky us, she found out about SoNoc, which is apparently a lot like NaNoWriMo, but meant for the SOuthern hemisphere or something... >> But we are gonna join it anyway, lol! I'm excited, another 50,000 word month! XD Although we are staring a week late, we will be alright! *clenches fist* We have a better punishment this time, lol. ^^ So~ I gotta start braistorming, and fast! *runs off in excited circles*

And last but not least, Story! Please read and comment for me~! <33

Am I not More Important?

Pages flipped back and forth from the wind of the fan, cool air flowing through the room with the smell of old wood and soap. Red eyes stared blankly down at the flipping paper, a frown creased across a pale brow and lightly tinted lips. The words kept repeating as the pages flipped back and forth, in the book telling a story about murder and men with smoke pipes trying to solve it. A heavy sigh slipped past cold fangs that soon after dug into his bottom lip, red eyes looking to the clock on the wall as he waited. Soon… it had to be soon. He was sure of it. Mikail’s fingers tightened around each other as he allowed his head to hang down, black hair brushing his cheeks as it fell forward with the motion. Alex was getting ‘punished’ again… apparently it had started a few weeks ago, but Mikail hadn’t found until last night. One of the other vampires had been making fun of him, as usual. He had decided that telling the fledgling that his master was getting beaten because he had created him would be funny. He hadn’t been laughing when Mikail had torn his throat out.

Pointed ears picked up a sound, softer than the squeak of a mouse, from the bedroom. Quickly getting to his feet, he leapt over the couch and ran into the room, catching a glimpse of blond hair just as the bathroom door began to close. He ran forward, putting his shoulder first and shoving against the door before it could close all the way, the barrier opening with a loud bang as the body behind it fell to the floor. “Oowww…” His gaze fell down to the person now pushing himself up on bloody hands, blond hair falling across his face as faded pink eyes gazed at him through their strands. “Ah… Mikail…” A smile crossed Alex’s lips as he looked up at him, tilting his head to one side. “What are you doing up so… early?” Pain laced through Mikail’s heart as he looked down at his master, at the fake smile he was forcing on his face. He was coated in dried blood, dark smears that stained his porcelain skin without any other markings to show what had happened. There were no wounds, no scars, thanks to the vampire’s ability to heal. But he could see the pain echoing through his master’s body, all hidden behind a careful mask put up for Mikail’s benefit.

He spun, reaching for the nozzle of the tub and twisting the knob, pulling back as hot water shot forth into the porcelain basin. Turning, he bent, grabbing Alex’s shirt and beginning to pull it off. A hand caught his wrist, pain now shining in Alex’s eyes as he shook his head, his mask gone. “D-don’t… Mikail, I’m fine…” Mikail scowled, his red eyes flashing angrily. “Shut up.” Alex blinked, about to speak again when Mikail jerked his hand from Alex’s grasp, disgusted with how easy he was able to do so as he proceeded with stripping his master of his torn and tattered clothing. Then he easily lifted the blond, turning and setting him in the tub, ignoring Alex’s hiss as the water sloshed over his body, wetting the dried blood that caked his skin. Mikail turned off the water, kneeling beside the bath as he rolled up his sleeves. Dipping his hands into the water and cupping them, lifting water and releasing it over Alex’s head. “Mikail…” The fledgling ignored his master as he repeated the process, before reaching for the soft wash towel, falling still when Alex’s slender hand touched his wrist. “Honestly Mikail, I just fell. I’ll be alright.” Red eyes flared as Mikail growled low in his throat, his hand snapping back, a sharp smack echoing in the tiled room as he slapped Alex’s hand away. “Don’t lie to me. I know what’s going on.” Alex flinched at Mikail’s gaze, looking away quickly, wet hair sticking to his face. “I-I don’t know what-”“Damn it Alex!” His hand slammed against the edge of the tub, his gaze burning accusingly as he glared at his master. “Stop lying to me! Why didn’t you tell me they were beating you!?” Alex’s jaw tightened slightly, his pink eyes fixed firmly on an unspecific spot in the tub. “…It… it’s not like you can do anything about it. I didn’t want you to worry.” “You did a shit job, Alex. What did you think I would do when you come home every other night and lock yourself in here for hours?” His slender frame pushed against the porcelain as Alex shrank back, shaking hands clenching together tightly under the water, which only reached a few inches above his waist. “Even so-““Why don’t you stop them? Why do you let them do this to you? Or do you regret creating me?” Alex’s eyes went wide, his gaze snapping to Mikail. “What? No! What does that have to do with-“

He fell silent, his gaze softening as he saw Mikail’s face. The fledgling cursed, swiping at his eyes, feeling tears smear across his skin. “That’s why they are beating you, right? Because you made me, without ‘consulting’ or whatever crap…’” He flinched slightly as a pale hand touched his cheek, Alex’s pink eyes sad as he shook his head. “Mikail, who have you been listening to? Who told you these things? It was that boy, wasn’t it? That’s why you hurt him…?” Mikail bit his lip, nodding his head as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop his tears. Alex shifted, leaning forward and wrapping his arms gently around Mikail’s head, sighing softly in his thick hair. “Oh Mikail, you shouldn’t listen to their words. They are only trying to hurt you. I am getting punished for something that happened long before you came along.” “…What?” Alex was quiet for a moment, and Mikail could feel his shoulders drop slightly. “…I do things they don’t like. I’m not what they expected… I don’t kill every human I come across. It makes them mad when I don’t slaughter everything with two legs.” He brushed Mikail’s hair from his face with a few gentle strokes, leaning back and looking into his eyes. “So they aren’t hurting me because of you. My making you was probably one of the few things they actually approved of, even if they didn’t like why I did it.” Alex smiled in a weak, but honest manner, tilting his head to one side, as if asking if Mikail understood. “I have never regretted making you what you are. It’s because you are here that I have enough strength to go against them at all.”

Mikail wasn’t satisfied, frowning as he shook his head back and forth. “…That attitude isn’t healthy. I don’t like the stiffs either, but if it’s letting them beat you like this, I don’t want you to go against them anymore.” Alex laughed with a bitter tone, leaning back in the tub as he closed his eyes. “I have to, Mikail. If I don’t, they will kill innocent people… and I can live with this if it means saving a few.” Mikail felt a clench in his chest, quickly brushing his arm across his face before he grabbed the sponge, dipping it in the water and beginning to work on cleaning Alex’s body. “Why do you care about humans so much anyway?” Pink eyes opened to half mast, staring at the ceiling, holding in pain as his body was scrubbed free of grim. “…It’s redemption. If I can save some of them… then maybe, I will have a purpose to be here, to have betrayed Master, so long ago…” A smile came to Alex’s lips as he looked at Mikail, his fingers brushing across his cheek like butterflies wings. “Yet another reason I do not regret you.” Mikail kept his eyes down, focused on his task as he held his tongue, forcing himself to breath evenly as Alex’s hand fell back into the water. Red eyes glanced at his face, seeing Alex’s eyes close as he allowed for himself to be tended, something the other was probably deciding he would allow Mikail to do from now on. Mikail’s gaze lowered once more, allowing the pain he felt in his chest to come up to his eyes. After all, if Alex still felt it necessary to save humans for redemption, even after creating Mikail…

Well, that meant Mikail was no more important than those humans at all, didn’t it?

Alex's past, part two? Or something like that.

Ugh, Alex can be so unintentionally stupid. This was written from Mikail's point of view, because I'm gonna start putting you guys in his head too. (Mwa-haha.) ^^ Lol, he's still sweet and caring in this one, isn't he?

_{He won't be this way for long, Enjoy him while it lasts. *laugh*}

This is when things basically start changing in Mikail's mind, though Alex never notices until Mikail lets him notice, which is when everything goes to hell. Mikail's a sneaky, clever little mongrel. I should put a picture of him up on here... I don't have Mikail as a doll yet, but he is who I'm currently saving for. Have a mold selected and everything.

I hope you like it.

_{All characters and world belong to me. I thought of and created them. DO NOT STEALZ. ^^ Thank you for reading.}

Fri, 29 May 2009 05:56:30 GMT

Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose.

SO, I'm back from an awesome trip to Fanime09!! XD I had so much fun! I got to see so much pretty stuff, I didn't spend all of my money until the second day this time too! *laughs at self* I got to meet :iconR727: in person!!! That was so awesome~! XD I got to meet Remi and Mathey too~! Remi is one of those molds that, when you see it on the website, you don't like it so much, and then you see him in person and your like 'HOMG, your fracking GORGEOUS!!' I mean, I already knew he was awesome and lovely, but I didn't realize which mold he was. XD When she told me, I was like 'Oh snapz, that's right! He is that mold!' Lol, it was so much fun. XD I got to make four MNF's do the YMCA, lol.

But yeah, it was awesome. I bought what I wanted to buy, which was one of :iconheise:'s books, and some MSC, and a lot of art. -^^- It was lovely. Lol, though it was mildly painful to see Junkyspot there, with a DZ MO, mocking me... T_T Lol, but it was all so much fun.

^^ The boys had fun too. I was walking around the Dealers hall with Lorien, and we stopped at this table that had doll clothes on it, and suddenly, I felt him shift. I thought he was falling, so I sort of adjusted, and looked at him...

I swear, he was leaning over my arm, with his hand outstretched, reaching towards this pair of pants. XD He was obviously saying 'I want THAT. BUY IT.' So I had to, lol... Lorien never really asks for anything, so the fact that he nearly fell off my arm was a sign. XD Amusingly enough, I didn't buy Alex, my clothes whore, anything at all. I bought Shin a shirt that he as currently stolen though. >>;; Sadly, I didn't find a wig, or eyes for Shin. He needs a new wig, and I want to get him shiny eyes. So sha... ^^ Working on that still. I didn't find any sneakers either, so I still have to buy those as well.

So woot~! XD Quick rundown, lol. I had a blast. Thank you my dear friends who went with me~! XD And I'm trying to look over all I missed, but if I miss anything, please tell me, lol.

Short~!

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 06:35:11 GMT

I like it. What was once a thing of occasional exhastion and annoyance is now something of simplicity, practicallity, and freshness. It's a breeze that sweeps in a light feeling of confidence, a dabble of giggles here and there, and an occasional sigh of bliss.

Yes, I cut my hair.

It's not like my hair was really that long to begin with: it probably wasn't even down to my shoulders. But now, it's shorter than it ever was before. Like, really. I've had it short plenty of times, but this style is completely diffrent than anything I've done before. It's short, choppy, and almsot looks like a boy's cut. ^^ And I love it. Seriously, it's so easy to maintain now. Why didn't I do this before? XD I just shower, get out, and rub a towel vigerously through the short (now naturally colored) locks, and viola, I'm done. XD Though I'm sure I can get some nasty bedhaed, but who cares? It's short and simple, and SO nice in thie weather. ^^ I can feel wind on my neck, lol. And I no longer have to tuck it behind my ears, or wear a headband to keep it out of my eyes.

Nope. Short, with bangs. Choppy bangs. Huzzah. *o*

But really, I have been thinking of myself diffrently lately. Like... my hygeine and whatnot. I've been washing my face with stuff to get rid of my acne every night, I've been taking showers almsot every day, instead of every other day, I've been nearly putting on foundation in the morning. I'm trying to start eating right, but that's a little harder... I'm going to start that after school get's out.

I've been, like, seeing life a little more seriously now. Seriously telling myself I'm going to get a job, and get money, because I need it. Working out school and stuff in my head. But, so far, it's all in my head. I need to start actually doing it. But I think once I sort it out in my brain, I can act it. Because I've realized I have some weird tempermental junk in my head. XD I get mad at things for no reason. I shy away from things just because of the sound of them, even though my brain is like 'What? It's nothing, you can do it. And you need to do it.' But I'm like 'Nooooo,' whine whine whine crap. I need to buck up, and start seriously going about my life. I think this summer will bring a new wind for me. A job means structure, and structure means not being an internally whiny girl. XP I don't like being whiny. I'm not whiny verbally, but man, if you could hear the stuff that goes on in my head sometimes. Like, I keep it all bottled inside, and never say it out loud. Which can be a good thing, because I known if I said some of the things I think, well, some events would not have happened as they did.

I've got some mental sorting to do. And I'm going to do my best. It feels like I've lost part of my personality somewhere, lol. A part of me that only comes out when I'm with certain people. And that part is the real me. When did I become so quiet? When did I become so nervous? When did I become such a weak willed person? I wasn't always like this. And I'm not like this around some people I know and love. It's a really weird feeling, to look at myself like this. I know I'm stronger than this. I know I'm better than this. So why am I not?

Huh. XD This turned into some crazy post, ne? Self assertation 101, part three.

So let's move on too dollies, or sort of. Since I forgot to post this before, you may have it now. ^^ A story of epic sillyness. ( I posted this on dA, for those of you who watch me there. ^^)

Yes, he really is like this.

A smile lit his pink eyes, delicate hands hovering above the wide package set on the bed’s deep plush comforter. He bit on his bottom lip, a happy whimper humming in his throat as he carefully set his hands on the edge of the large, tan cardboard structure, fingers rubbing softly over the sandy surface. Pointed ears picked up a condemning snort from his doorway, his head turning to look at the person standing there. “What the hell is that?” Alex smiled wide, turning and moving back and forth on his bare feet in an excited sway, a giggle set on a high school girl level leaving his lips. “My package! Look look, it’s my package, Lorien!” The red headed teen looked mildly nauseous at his actions, his strong fingers tightening on the soda can in his grasp. “I can see that. What’s in it?” Alex spun in a circle, his long, frilled sleeves floating about him as he let out a happy sigh, finishing his flourished spin and pointing a hand dramatically at the large box.

“My woman hood.”

Lorien choked, even though he hadn’t been drinking the soda in his grasp, a look of complete horror crossing his face, horror on a level Alex hadn’t seen until this point. He felt proud. “Y-your what?!” The vampire felt his smile widen, his hand falling on the tape coated parcel, petting it fondly. “Lorien, you know how people say ‘Women have all the fun’, or ‘Women have it easy’?” Lorien’s face spoke volumes of how uneasy he was with this entire conversation, his body screaming he really wanted to turn and pretend he never saw or heard anything that transpired in the last few seconds. “…Yes?” Alex giggled again, his nail puncturing into the tape, and sliding down, effectively cutting through the sticky substance. “Well, both of us know women have it just the same as us men-“ Alex blinked as the redhead in the doorway interrupted flatly, “‘Us’ being a very uncertain term at the moment.” Alex laughed, winking at his friend jovially. “Aw Lorien, you see right through me, don’t you?” The teen looked about ready to find a nice sharp object and end his existence as Alex opened his package, hands diving down into the crunchy peanut packaging bit. He laughed happily, spinning and proudly holding out the item in his grasp. “Viola! Behold, Lorien, my escalation in life!”

“…It’s a dress.” Alex peeked over the soft, deep purple cloth, feeling another swell of pride at the look of pure headache on Lorien’s face. “Yes! Your observation skills have not fallen in any manner, Lorien.” The fighter carefully set his can of soda on the desk beside him, one hand resting on the smooth surface, his other hand lifting, fingers pressing against his temple. “Alex, I know I’m going to regret asking, but why do you have a dress?” “It was sent to me!” “Is it a present for someone?” “Yes! A present for me!” “Are you going to wear it?” Alex had already spread the item on his bed, and was busy untying his shirt as he smiled back at the blue eyed teen. “Silly Lorien, why else would I receive a gift of clothing but to wear it?” He laughed as Lorien heaved a heavy sigh, pulling his shirt over his head. “Oh Lorien, you look like you’re in pain. Are you sick?” His housemate looked up, blue eyes tracing over his muscled chest. “Alex, I don’t believe this half of the time, but you are a guy. Why are you going to wear a dress?”

Alex laughed brightly, his hands reaching up and gathering his long blond hair behind his head, fingers running with practiced ease through the soft locks. “Lorien, it’s really not hard to understand. Why shouldn’t I wear a dress? Women can wear pants, why can’t men wear skirts?” “Because they shouldn’t.” “Aw, that isn’t a good argument at all.” “Because dresses are to show off a women’s figure, which men do not have.” “That’s a little better. But it sounds old fashioned.” “No, it sounds understandable. But that word’s isn’t in your vocabulary.” Alex shook his head in disagreement, pulling the supple dress over his head. “Yes it is, it just has a different meaning.” Lorien was obviously leaning on the desk now, looking ready to fall over from the pain that was undoubtedly echoing in his thoughts. “Like a lot of other things in your life.”

“A-Alex, why are you wearing a dress?” The two looked at Shin, who was suddenly standing behind Lorien in the doorway, a pot of some warm substance held in his mitten covered gloves. His soft green eyes were wide, a gentle tint of pink brushed along his cheeks as he looked at Alex, obviously confused and flabbergasted to see the vampire who he thought was a guy standing in his house, looking every inch a woman. Alex smiled at his adorable presence, walking across the carpet and standing before Shin, pulling on his long sleeves. “Shin, you know that magazine article I was in, where it was just a picture of my back and profile?” Shin nodded mutely, Lorien’s head lifting beside him. “Apparently, all the letters they got in the last few months were calling for more pictures of the ‘beautiful girl shown in the article’.” Alex smiled, laughing as he adjusted the dress about his shoulders. “So, the editor and I thought it would be a wonderful joke to see how many shoots I could do before someone noticed my true gender.”

He giggled, twirling in place, the dress’ silken skirt fluttering about his legs before swishing against his skin as he fell still, smiling at Shin. “Don’t I look pretty?” Shin smiled, nodding his head, though he was obviously not completely understanding what was going on. “Oh, it’s for the magazine! Yes, Alex, you look just like a girl!” Alex giggled as Lorien’s fingers rubbed his temple again, pink eyes looking down at the pot in Shin’s hands. “Ah, that smells good. Is dinner ready?” Shin made a sound, nodding as he turned towards the stairs. “Yes, it is! That’s what I came to tell you.” Alex smiled, turning and moving back into his room. “Alright, let me change out of this, and I’ll be right down.” Shin nodded, moving and carefully stepping back down the steps to the first floor of their home.

Alex pulled the dress off, feeling Lorien’s blue gaze burning holes in his skin. “Aren’t you going down, Lorien?” “You know, if you had just told me that in the beginning, you would have saved me this headache.” Alex laughed, grabbing his shirt from the bed, turning and moving to Lorien, lifting a hand and resting it on Lorien’s cheek fondly. “But Lorien, that isn’t fun at all.” The redhead’s eyes narrowed, smacking the vampire’s hand away as he grumbled, snagging his soda as he pushed off the desk, heading for the stairs. Alex giggled, lacing his shirt as he looked back to the clothing on his bed, eyes twinkling in anticipation.

Now, all he needed to do was go buy some underwear…

Author's Comments:
Lol, this is pure sillyness. I was staring at all the stuff I need to catch up on, and was feeling overwhelemed. SO I opened word, and started typing.

^^ And this popped out. And may be scrapped, I just felt like posting it.

It works though, becasue I don't think I've accurately expressed Alex's strangeness. He's really random and eccentric, and he would seriously wear a dress for the simple sake of wearing one, without thinking it was gay at all.

Escpecially because he can pull it off. When he wore that dress to the magazine shoot, everyone was fooled, and he got nine phone numbers at work that day.

He's proud of it. Jeez, he has no morals. *laugh*

Now, on to more rant.

I've come to the realization that I can have whatever kind of characters I want. The prime example being? ALEX. A few years ago, I would never have had a guy who would willingly wear a dress. At least, not so openly. XD I still think it's foolish and silly, and I don't think men should wear dresses, but it's Alex. He's his own, and he's charging ahead with his crazyness, pulling me baffled and laughing behind him. But you know, he's my character. It's the way he is. Should a character reflect on the person that made them? I mean, I know every character has a little bit of the maker in them and whatnot. But just because a character is flamboyant and crazy, or a scycopathic killer, does not mean the writer is neccesarily like that, or promotes it. There are thousands of types of people in the world, and all of them are special. And if you really want to enjoy writing, or having characters at all, I think it's neccesary that you take in everyone as a whole, and play around with all diffrent types of things. The most trouble I've had is with the idea of him being gay, or bi. But just because you are not personally gay or bi is not a good reason to completely erradicate such characters from your story... is it? It makes it less beleiveable, I think.... it's like psychopaths and murderers. XD We have those all the time, yet when it happens in real life, of course we find it horrifying. Not that gay's and bi's are horrifying or anything, I'm not bashing it at all. I just don't personally swing that way, and I have an annoying past with people not beleiving that. So when I think of a character of mine being bi, it's not that I'm against it per say. It's like... meh, I don't know. I've been raised so that thinking that is kind of a taboo thing...

Back to the murderer's point, I have plenty of those types of characters, who do horrible horrible things that I sometimes despise. But some of my most beloved characters are completely evil and insane. And Alex isn't like anyone else... he's special to me. He's a free character, who is one fo the first to do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants, however he want's it. Everyone seems to think he's terrible, lol. XD But he isn't really that bad of a guy. He's a wonderful guy... just insane, mischivious, and really energetic and flamboyant. ^^ I love him so. He's wonderfully easy to play with, lol, and sometimes will do the crazyest things in my head. And I'm quite proud of his story, like his backgrond and stuff. XD If only I could get it properly written out...

I wonder if that all made sense to you people... *laugh*

Well, the title completely lies about the post. XD Did I deceive you? I did not intend for it to be so long, lol. Or confusing... or serious. *laugh*

Also, I watched a movie called 'The Manturian Candidate' tonight. It had Frank Sinatra in it, and another guy who I absolutely LOVED. Man, I really loved his character!!! it was so sad and wonderful. It's a wonderful and well made movie, and I strongly reccomend it to all. <33 (ESCPECIALLY you, Say. XD Your gonna love the characters.)

Ok, I shall stop now. XD Well, ta ta!

There is Always a History

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:14:19 GMT

There is Always a History by *luthienyavetil on deviant ART

*happy happy dance*

Huzzah!

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:21:19 GMT

*shrugs* I'm not really excited-

Wait!! I take that back!! *happy dances* Hn'kay, on dA, there was this one picture where the scars on the doll were so cool. So when I asked the artist how she did them, she happily told me. The other day, Chantal gave me her doll back to re-do his faceup, and asked if I do scars. Of course, I happily replied I would love to, and gathered details, ect, and brought him home for the weekend for a re-do.

OMG, scars are FREAKIN AWESOMESAUCE OF ALL THAT IS GLORY!!!

I'll post pictures when I have some, but ahh~, I love scars. I did the scar on Sketch, Chantal's boy, and freaked so happily out that I went and scarred up Lorien. He's a fighter, right? He's gonna have scars. And he looks awesome!! Holy crap, scars are so much fun!! I want to do more!! XD Someone give me a dollie to scar. lolz! So yeah, I'm planning to take some pictures of them all tommorow, since I finished Sketch's new face tonight also. And when I do, I'll put them up.

Also, I know I promised the whole photostorie where Alex get's his body and jazz... again, forgive my slowness. -.- I get so lazy when I look at all those pictures I need to edit. *heavy sigh* I'll put it up eventually.... XP

So, in the meantime, to appease you all (lolz) Here are some shots I snapped in my parents room the other day. ^^ Enjoy!

I posted these in my dA also, and I copied the comments I put there to here. ^^ Becasue I like them. *laugh*

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm tree's swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget these images
No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me.

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I'll bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

-Almost lover, A Fine Frenzy

So, Shin's never had a lover. But I was looking through this shoot, and right when I came to this picture, this song started playing. And it really looks like he's sad. He's probably thinking of his mother, or the father that he doesn't remember. He can only think of his father's voice, and the sense of comfort he had whenever he was around. And then the sense of sadness whenever he saw his mother crying because they left.

P.S- I've decided his father is alive. But don't tell Shin, he doesn't know that yet.

Also, you SERIOUSLY can't see it in this picture, but Shin has scales now! On his uncovered arm. <33 I shall make sure to take a picture of it.

Lorien has had a lover, unlike Shin. She's back in his hometown. And she doesn't know where he is now. He left without telling her, or saying goodbye. He feel's bad about that, but he's decided to never go back. Only something really big happening could make him go back to that place. (Note:This is a technique called foreshadowing. XD)

P.S.- Luckily, his girlfriend is a stubborn woman, as well as madly in love with him. XD A good combo when needing to find a lost love.

Alex has had quite a few lovers, I'm sure. But not many people has he actually loved. Escpecially since the last person he truely loved ended up to just be using him, and dissapeared from his life without any remorse. It doesn't help that, right after reading the note telling him the woman he loved was leaving him, Mikail declared war against him. So, loose the one person you really loved, and then be forced to kill the other person you loved just as much.

Not good for Alex's mental state, to be sure.

Anyway, he has not had anyone he's loved as more than family since then. There has recently been one or two poeple whom he does love, but he holds himself back from loving them completely. There's a safe guard around his heart that he just doesn't want to take down.

Thank you for reading! ^^

What the crapz just HAPPENED?!?!

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:09:23 GMT

Kk, so after weird sort of Twilight Zone day, i am now kinda out of it, lol. XD Nothing exciting happened, nothing out of the norm... but today just feels weird. I am so NOT tired, but my eyes feel strange. Blarg. I wants to paint dollie's, but I has no dollies to paint. (Ignoring the head that need's a lip re-do... Don't know why, but I is. >-< I make no sense.)

I NEED CREATIVE NEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! I NEED A REBOOT BUTTON!! I DOES NEED A SHOT OF C-JUICE TO THE SPINE!! NOWZ!!

Lol, dont' know what just happened. Mergle. ANYWAY! So, I was watching TV, and the anime Gurren Lagann came on, the one with the dude with blue hair and the weird sunglasses? Dnd the chick with the long pink hair, nearly no clothes, and the rifle? With the gundam like robot's? So, never seen this anime before, and I was watching it, go trhough two episodes kind of getting what was happening...

AND WHAT THE HELL?!?! I JUST START WATCHING IT AND YOU KILL SOEMONE?!?! YOU KILL SOMEONE I LIKE?!!? ALREADY?!!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS!!! AND YOU KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!!? *weeps* SO NOT COOL! I JUST MET THE GUY, AND HE'S ALREADY DEAD!!!

I'm not gonna say who, in case of spoilerage, and I wouldn't like to give it away to people who actually know all of what is going on. BUT! What the crap? I'm so sad!! I just started, seriously only two episodes, and I'm already getting worked up over it? My brain... it aches... *weeps*

*weeps more*

I does not like. I does not like at all.

BTW, Say-chan, I think the person who did Noein did this anime. It's a little similair. but I may be wrong.

*runs away*

"Something to Think About" - Story

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 07:52:32 GMT

So, this story is about Alex's Master, or Joo-Eun. That is not his real name, no one know's what his real name is. But that is what the people who live in the village nearby call him. It means 'Silver Pearl', and is actually used as a girl name. XD They call him that, because half of the village still thinks he's a woman, because he's so beautiful, and his voice is so hypnotizing. That's why he speaks quietly, because his power is focused in his voice, and he can seriously kill people with a word if he isn't careful. A good reason for him to be so impassive, because if he get's angry, and raises his voice, people die. >.<;;

I'll try to write about that later, lol.

He stared silently at the table top, long fingered hands resting in his lap. A heavy sigh across from him brought vivid blue eyes back into focus, lifting to gaze at his companion. Purple eyes narrowed at him, painted nails tapping on the wood as the girl sitting across from him sighed. “You know, you are absolutely no fun.” Cerulean orbs blinked calmly, his soft voice filling her ears with barely any movement from his lips. “What do you mean?” She scowled, turning her well curved body as she looked at the rest of the gathering in the castle room. “Look at yourself once in a while. I’d call you a hermit, except your worse. Ever since you left that one fledgling of yours, you’ve been cooped up in your little China village, and you only ever leave when we’re Called.” Her dark eyes flashed as she looked at him slyly, lifting a hand and catching the end of his long silken hair, rubbing the lock between her fingers. “You need to get out more… Why don’t you come see any of us? We… I could make you happy, you know…” He stared at her calmly, all emotion void from his face.

“…Because you’re annoying.” She blinked, eyes widening in slight shock at his blunt words. A laugh erupted from behind her, and she turned, flushing as she saw the stopped, old man behind her. “See, Lunette, you should know better. He’s never responded to you before, why would he now?” She growled softly, sharp fangs digging into her lower lip. “But my Ancient, don’t you agree with me?” The old man smiled slightly, straightening his back, long white hair shifting about his shoulders. “…What Joo-Eun does is his decision. He has done nothing to warrant my ridicule.” She huffed softly, standing and bowing. “If you say so, my Ancient.” She turned, long black hair flicking behind her as she stalked to another group in the room, who looked more than happy to accept the beautiful female into their conversation.

“But she has a point…” He sighed, lifting a hand and brushing his hair over his shoulder. “I thought you said I didn’t deserve ridicule.” The man smiled, patting his shoulder with a wrinkled hand. “You don’t. But you do deserve sympathy, I think.” Joo-Eun blinked slightly, looking at the man standing beside him, his eyes softly questioning the others words. “Your love died when you were young, your first fledgling was murdered under your care, and your next betrayed and abandoned you… and you’ve not seen a living soul ever since. You certainly are deserving of my sympathy.” His face remained blank, but he looked away, and the man chuckled. “I’ve known you since you were born. I can tell I just hit a nerve.” A gong rang through the stone walls, and he patted his shoulder again. “Give her words some thought. I can promise you aren’t as alone as you make yourself.” He stood, bowing slightly as the Ancient vampire walked away, following the rest of the gathering through the wide, double doors.

But he remained. Instead of following the others, Joo-Eun turned, sneaking out the balcony window and quickly moving along the outside pathway. He suddenly didn’t feel like sitting through a meeting with a bunch of old vampires, who only ever talked about the same things. It’s not like they could actually do anything about him ditching, since he himself was an Ancient, but they would probably bother him with whining complaints afterwards, when they found him again. And they wondered why he never left his home… Slippered feet became still, the wind pulling gently at his hair and robes. His gaze traveled to the landscape, looking across the fluffy white clouds hovering at the mountains peaks stretched across the horizon. Here, in this meeting place of Ancients, the air was thin, the wind was cold, and the large, dark stoned castle was soaked with the presence of old, powerful beings. Vampires had always ruled this place, high in the mountains, far above what even the most daring hiker dreamed of climbing. A place above the world, where life faded, and only the living dead felt the need to reside.

He hated it. You would never tell from looking at him, his emotionless face and soft, smooth voice. Joo-Eun had long ago closed his emotions from his facial muscles, and now only ever felt them in his heart, where even there they were weak and dull with their lack of use. How long had it been since he’d laughed? Cried? Even smiled? The wind pulled at his razor straight hair, sending it dancing about his form with his Chinese robes, his eyes closing against the flailing strands. No, he wasn’t sure when he had last shown emotion. It certainly hadn’t been here, in this cold place full of his own kind. It wasn’t that he hated the place itself… but as he had said so bluntly before, it was a bother. He saw no need to come out here every time the other Ancients decided to Call. A hand lifted, tucking straight hair behind his ear, his gaze pulling towards the south, where his home was. How he wished to be home, in his mansion among the grassy hills and tall trees. Where the birds sang with him, the foxes stole his tea bags, tigers warmed his bed, and wolves brought his meals.

But really… what was waiting for him there? Just his home, the animals, and the comfort of his humanlike solitude. But, truly, there was little comfort in his solitude. He enjoyed being alone, but after so long of a time… it really was beginning to become… painful. Even with his animal visitors, there was nothing to stimulate true conversation… He felt like he was wasting away, that the time which did not affect him was laughing as it passed him by. Pointing its fingers and making fun of the lonely vampire, who was too stubborn to find the only remaining person alive that he cared about.

Your love died when you were young, your first fledgling was murdered under your care, and your next betrayed and abandoned you…

Indeed… what a pathetic story. Over his long life, one would think he could care for more than four people in his life. But his Master was dead, his wife was dead, his first friend was dead… and the last was lost. Because of his stubbornness, his inability to compromise... and his inability to hold on to what he wanted. His fingers lifted, resting on the marble railing before him, his crystal gaze traveling once again to the mountainous horizon before him. The things he cared for… The deaths had not been his fault. He had come to terms with the deaths of his loved ones, even if the memory of their passing brought a pain that would never heal.

But Alex was a different story. It was true, Alex had been foolish and stubborn himself, deaf to his warnings and going with the passion of the moment. But Joo-Eun was also at fault… even now.

Indeed, in one moment of bravery, Joo-Eun had built up the courage to go and see Alex. But he hadn’t even gotten into the city. He had stood outside of the city limits, and that had been enough to scare him away. Because he had felt Alex. And it had hurt so, so much. He could have known, without looking at the brightening city, that things had changed in the years he had been gone. The air itself had been lighter, less thick with the feelings of oppression and sorrow. Then, he had seen humans moving in the night, when at one time only vampires had walked. He had seen smiles on their faces, the joy dancing in their eyes, at what must have been freedom.

But Alex was shattered. He had felt it from so far away, even after having not felt Alex’s mind in years. His fledgling had felt older, had felt stronger, but all of that change was buried beneath the screams of pain that echoed from his mind like an off key bell resounding in a small, enclosed room. The scream that was only able to be heard by those who had the ability to listen… and he was the one with that ability.

Cerulean eyes blinked, his gaze sharpening as realization flickered in his mind. That moment, that instant in time… That had been the last time he had shown emotion. He could remember now. How he had been frozen in place outside the city limits, the scream resounding in his head as he felt the most pain he had felt since Alex had left him. He had cried. His hand lifted, fingers touching his cheek at the memory, as if even now he could feel the water slipping from his eyes and moving down his face. An echo of that pain resounded in his chest, and he fell softly against the railing, slowly sliding down to the balcony floor. It was a phantom pain now, so he could bear it… but then, he had collapsed to his knees, holding his chest tightly, feeling like his heart would rip itself apart. A heavy breath slipped passed his lips, his hand resting on his chest as he closed his eyes, a name slipping into the wind.

“Alex…”

What had he done? Then, Joo-Eun hadn’t been able to bear it, and had run, run all the way back to his home before the scream had died. What a coward he was… He, one of the Ancients, one of the strongest beings on the face of this planet, could not even comfort the person he cared about. Because he had been afraid then, just as he was afraid now. Alex, who had been so broken and weak, who was screaming, crying for someone to save him from his misery. And he, his Master, could not even give him that comfort. Because he was afraid it would all be his fault. That he would be the reason Alex was in so much pain, that because he hadn’t stopped him from leaving then, so long ago… He didn’t want to be the reason Alex was in so much pain. He wouldn’t be able to bear it. “Alex…” What had happened? What had they done to him that had shattered his mind so completely? He had thought of that so much, but of course he had never gone back. That scream still haunted his mind, and he could not find it within himself to stand up to the possibility that he was to blame for Alex’s torment. That responsibility was something he could not bear.

A soft snort left his fine nose as he shook his head, turning and resting his back against the railing, staring at the old stone in front of him. That cowardice was quickly becoming overtaken by his loneliness. More and more he felt that urge, that desire to see Alex, rising in his chest. His curiosity was taking a firm hold in his mind, and his solitude was fueling it.

Blue eyes closed, the wind picking at his hair again as the vampire sighed. “It is something to think about…"

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

On another note, in art class our teacher put on the music of a composer named Phillip Glass. So I looked up his stuff, and was listening to it all throughout writing this story. He has some really awesome stuff. ^^ Hooray Classical music! Anyway, I'm going to bed now. XD I need to get up early in the morning, and it's already 1am, lol. So, night all!

Fortune Cookies are true? (& Meme)

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:53:21 GMT

I just noticed my nail is broken. Like something snapped half of it off. ...Huh.

So this past weekend I got to hang out with a bunch of my buddies. A friend (*glomps person who know's who she is*) came down from California, and was like 'GATHER MINIONS!!' XD So we happily did. We met up on Sunday, and had a pretty awesome afternoon, I think, ending with nearly being kidnapped and dragged away, lolz. XD but it was really fun, and i can't wait to do it again.

But anyway, the thing is, that night we went to Pei Wei, where after five minutes of my bank and my stomach battling in my brain, I bought some really good food, and am now really, REALLY broke. Luckily I get paid, like... today. Anyway, back from the tangent, there were these fortune cookies that we were snacking on, and before I ordered food, I had one. And inside it said 'You will receive a surprising gift soon', or something along those lines. On the back it had the chinease word for Advertising. Anyway, so we were all wondering about that for a bit, before trhe cookie fortunes driffted to a diffrent topic.

So then I went and got food, and ate it. I got another fortune cookie, cracked it open... and it was the SAME ONE!! What strange odds, that out of this huge bowl of fortune cookies, I got two of the SAME FORTUNE! So we laughed about it, and the night passed on. i was going to try and remember the fortune, but by Monday i had basically forgotten.

So then, today, I go to Art and come home, and I try to take a nap, because my stomach was deciding whether or not it liked the strange tuna wrap thing I had for lunch/breakfast. Steve comes in, and I pretend to be sleeping, since I was halfway there anyway. But he starts poking me, and says 'Sorry Anna, I don't want to wake you, but dad want's you in the shop.' Now, yesterday, I litterally spent about 4 hours running to this Checker store, then home, then back again. I seriously went once on the hour, every hour. So I graoned, thinking the store messed something esle up, and I would have to do some crazy driving in my crappy car again. So i grudgingly get up, and go outside. My dad meets me, and we start walking towards our back lot, where all the scrap cars basically are. And my dad starts talking about how a friend of ours has this car, that's wreaked in the front, but but still runs, it has airbags, and it's in pretty good condition... and he was thinking of buying it.

And trading it to me for my car.

My face was blank, but my mind was going: Wait... what? You're getting me a new car? He was like 'So I wanted to make sure you liked it before Doug (the friend) get's back to me on the price and stuff.' So we come up to the car, and it's a pretty nice car! It's an impala, one of the one's that looks like most cars, it's silver, and the front os bent up, but it looked like the engine campartment was basically unscathed. So I open the door and sit in it: It has a really nice interior, a nice radio (with a CD player!), power windows, air conditioning, airbags, four doors, nice backseats. It's, like, a really nice normal car!!

For those who don't know, my current car is basically really crappy. It's a convertible who's roof can't go down. It's missing a doorpanel, has no airbags, a broken stareo that randomly becomes fugly for no reason, the gas milage scroll thing doesn't work, if the gas meter reaches half, it means empty, the car starts shaking around 40mph, no air conditioning, the engine is 'missing' (not the literal engine, but when it makes that clicking/turning sound), and it randomly dies for no reason. Yeah, it's pretty bad. So my dad said that it wasn't a definite thing yet, but he was thinking about getting it and fixing it for me, and trading me cars, and I was like 'Yeah! That's really cool!"

So FORTUNE COOKIES CAME COME TRUE!!!

I don't want to get my hopes up, since it isn't a done deal, and I might have to pay some money for it, but heck!! A NEW CAR!! that would be so awesome!!! I woudln't have to hate driviing anymore!! I wonder if he thought of it because of my recent spinout on the freeway... maybe that mad ehim think of what would happen if I got in an accident with my current car.

Anyway, I'm hopeful. That would be an awesome thing if I could get a new car.

Oh, also, I got Alex's body last week. XD i didn't make a big hullabaloo about it because I took this big photostorie shoot that I'm going to put up, and I kind of wnated that to be his 'reveal'. But it's a REALLY big storie. So many pictures... So yeah, be looking for that soon!!

I've also done TWO DOLLIE FACEUPS NOW!! I'll post pictures of those too. ^^ And I got the new Pokemon game. *dances*

So yeah... awesome stuff. ^^

And now for Meme. ^^ seijikat has included me, lol!

Leave a comment and I'll tell you five things I associate with you. And then you post about those five things, and invite others to have you tell them what you associate with them!

Gackt
-Ah, the love. ^^ I really love this singer, he's so much fun. He's so pretty, and can seem so very, very cool, but he can be such a dork. And is acting now! Lol, I can't wait for that new Hollywood movie he's in to come out. *happy dance* But I really love his music, it's so very inspirational to me. And he's hot. And he's fun. And he's hot. And his voice is amazing. ...yeah, Gackt = <3333.

BJD
-Ah, the love of my life. Dollies. ^^ I collect this expensive dolls, if you people didn't know. my dear and best friend got into them about... two years ago, and it quickly infected me. ^^ i painted my first faceup the other day!! I'm excited, I'm exploring this whole other part of BJD's, painting them myself... it's so much fun for me. I seriously love having my chatracters in 3D form, and exploring more of them, and all... Toooo much fun.

Photography
-Yush, I take pictures. I hated camera's, and i still don't like pictures of myself... But now I have dolls. ^6 And they demand pictures. Definitely DEMAND pictures. So I take them, and I think i've been getting good... And now I really would like one of those big fancy awesome DSLR's, lol. ^^ I'll have one, someday.

DA
-Ah, DevinatArt. I've actually only really got into this site about the end of last year, when I went to a BJD chat room there... and promptly met so many people who's dolls I adore. I love talking to doll people, so SO much, and it's so awesome to hear about their stories and more in depth about their dollies. I love it a lot. ^^ I've made a few friends I think... it's really nice. Please check it out. luthienyavetil.deviantart.com/

Vampires
-Lol, vampires. I like vampires. I have for a long time. ^^ Though the vampires I love the most are the one's I've made myself (Alex, Mikail, Master... lolz, the list continues.) Um, the vampire that is not my creation that I like the most... is... -.- Wow, I can't really remember. I haven't read a book in so long, it's painful. Not really Ann Rice, though her books are fun. Not Twilight, thanks to that sudden teenie bopper fan rush of love that completely killed that series for me. ...Hn, I really can't think of it. *slight shrug* XD But I really like them, lol.

Alex is ALEX.

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:25:49 GMT

I cannot express how I am feeling right now.

It is above happiness. It is on a level of euphoria. But not an excited euphoria, an euphoria that stops you in your tracks, an euphoria that makes you want to cry. Because Alex is suddenly ALEX. His body isn’t even here yet, but it doesn’t even matter to the one who is now at my side. He looks at me with a literally shining gaze that says ‘Hell yeah. I am back. This is me.’ Once those glowing pink eyes were in, he suddenly burst. It was like he was suddenly THERE, in my mind. Alex was suddenly whole, suddenly healed. Lately, when I’ve been writing with him, it’s been so hard, because he’s been so sad, torn from his past and the frailty of his future.

But now, he is the Alex he was always meant to be. THIS is Alex. The Alex that led a band of rag tag human’s to victory against a near legion of vampires. The Alex that came back from insanity because a small half fairy cried for his help. The Alex who was specifically chosen by an ancient vampire, one of the strongest living beings in the world, at only the age of six. The Alex that is friends with demons, and speaks to dragon’s. The Alex that has been through pain and suffering, and is now a shining jewel who will never again back down. Who will never again let the opinions and promises to others make him lose that which he cares for. The Alex that has been given a second chance at life, and is taking it at a run. The Alex that is weak, and know’s he’s weak, and no longer cares. And yet he’s still strong enough to protect that he loves. The Alex that is no longer ashamed, timid, or frightened. Hell no, this is Alex as he was meant to be. Bright, fun, energetic, snarky and downright annoying sometimes. Kind of nuts, loves clothes and company, and makes mistakes. But he’s not afraid of life, and ignores the normal rules of ‘that’s how it should be’. Never satisfied until he thinks it’s right. Never stops, but never forgets. Heck yeah, my Alex is here. All original, all Alex. A vampire who treasures his friends, doesn’t believe in enemies, and is his own master, who isn’t going to let himself become broken ever again. He’s here, he’s mine, and he isn’t going to be leaving any time soon.

This is Alex Junius Rineheart. Born June 23, 1443. Age of 566.

And in my mind, Alex tells me 'Thank You.'

In case you couldn’t tell, I got my package today. Hence the whole ‘Alex is now Alex’. It amazing what eyes can do. He’s so stunning to me. Even the fading light does nothing.

Though I don’t know if any of you know, since I haven’t really talked about it online, I have been pretty down lately. I’ve been tired, and life has just seemed really overpowering, like there’s so many things I want to be doing, but I can’t, because there’s no time, or I don’t have money. Everything has just been to much. But right now, that feeling is gone. Maybe it will come back, maybe not. But I feel accomplished, I no longer feel depressed at all. Me and Alex are kicking depression out the door with a boot to the face, and a few projectile’s to keep it away. No, tonight, I am satisfied. So I’m going to spend it with my dollies and me. And probably some House, or maybe even a movie, but probably just House, Law & Order, CSI, and some Doctor Who. Depends on what’s on.

Two completely different posts in one day. Yes, it’s been an awesome day.

"These things do happen..."

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:33:47 GMT

No, I will not quote the rest.

I will NOT.

Not that my brain has to stop, it's just going on and on. yes, moving on. ^^

If you couldn't already tell, this is a random post about things that have been happening lately, and probably just whatever come's to mind. And I'm gonna mess with colors.

So there.

So, it's very strange to be the first person to finish a test. Every single time I take a Science test, I finish first. Seriously, EVERY TIME. >.< And i"m getting really good grades, so I don't really know why I'm always first. It's that way in my Math class too, and I'm one of the top students (I think, from the moans around me whenever a test get's returned.) It's REALLY WEIRD. I mean, back in High School, I was usually one of the first ones, but I wasn't ALWAYS FIRST. Every single TIME. >.< Am I suddenly intelligent? Or is everyone suddenly stupid? I don't know.

I need to do something about my sleeping schedual. -.- Like, stop staying up until 2am when I need to wake up at 6:30am. I could barely keep my eyes open on the drive to school today. >.<;; And that's so definitely not safe. And all through class, I was so tired... Though I actually haven't been sleeping well lately at all. It's weird, because I love sleep, and I can basically sleep anywhere... so why am I suddenly finding no rest? I don't really undersatnd it...

Also, about an hour ago I had this great desire to grab my sketchbook, go outside and find a spot in the grass, and DRAW. The kink in this amazing plan? I dont have a sketchbook. ANY sketchbook. Not even one peice of decent paper. -.- I have failed at life. It's kind of a bummer too, becasue I've been getting these urges lately. I'm really goign to have to spend a night just drawing. The problem is that when I do this, I'm almost always never pleased with what I draw. I really want to draw, but because of that, I try to get down an image faster than normal, and I always think it turns out lazy looking... but I still want to do it. Somethign is better than nothing. -.-

Also, I worked on Sarah's head yesterday. Oh, I'm giving her Sleeping DES head a faceup. ^^ It's so much fun. it's a ceremonial faceup, so I get to be creative with it, lol. I'm pretty pleased with how it's turnign out. But I think I need to use less paint thinner, becasue my lines seem rather light. ^^ But for my very first face up, I'm really pleased so far. Though I never expected PASTEL of all things to be the thing I'm having most trouble with. -.- Fooey. When paint is easier to use than powder, I think there's something wrong. I should play with the watercolor pencils some more too, now that I now to get the weird cover layer off before I draw on the head. They have like this thin layer of something on them, probably to perserve them. Darn you Prismacolor.

I'm starving. I haven't had litteraly anything inside my stomach but water, and it's noon. I have clas sin an hour, which will then last 3 hours, and then I will go to Sarah's real quick for some MSC borrowing, then home. Oh, good news though? MY PACKAGE CAME!!! Mom just sent me a txt. <3 It's the one from Luts, I'm pretty sure, since the EMS tracking said it left the Arizona post office today, and the other is still in customs. Ahhh~ I'm excited. ^^ Eyes and wigs, eyes and wigs. And Lorien is gonna get some new string! XD I guess that's what I'll be doing tonight. I'll pull the boys apart, give them a proper bath, and restring them. maybe I'll re-blush... Naw, I have too many plans for Shin to MSC him right now. Though maybe I'll put on a base coat, for when I do that thing I have planned to do to him. (Insert mischivious laughter here) That's what I'm gonna buy at Fanime this year, is some shoes for the boys, and some MSC. 'Cause I would feel bad for using up all of Sa-chan's. And I would like to have some with me for my undoubtably-to-come-random-urges to give Alex a tattoo. -.- He's already told me one he wants, and it's just completey silly. XD That boy... I need some serious acetone too. The stuff I have is pretty weak...

That avatar is mesmerizing...

Oh, also, my ipod (ihpod XD) is messing up. The sound is only coming out of the left headphone, unless I press it in a certain way, then it plays both. Are ipod's repairable? Can I just get it fixed instead of getting a new one? (Dear god, the pink. *is blind*)

Holy crap, there's a 'More Colors' button.

W. O. O. T.
Lol, ok, I'm done. Half an hour to go before class. *punch's fist weakly in the air*

'What's Your Celtic Animal?' & 'I HATE indecisiveness!!'

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 07:09:57 GMT

Your Animal is the Salmon

You are both clever and wise. You are a keen observer, and you tend to notice everything.
You have amazing reasoning skills, and you grasp difficult concepts. You are an abstract thinker.

You seek wisdom in its many forms. You are interested in art, literature, history, philosophy, and science.
You are driven to make your own mark on the world. You put your creativity and brilliance to work.

What's Your Celtic Animal?

^^ How fun. You see that? I'm wise! I like to think I'm like this... Philosophy class was crazy fun because of all the abstract concepts, lol. XD I never had to study for those tests... And I've been realizing lately that I am kind of driven to make a mark on the world through my art. >.< It doesn't neccesarily have to be in a big way, but if I can affect someone reading my manga like some manga affect me, I will be very happy. I've been forgetting that lately, I think... forgetting why I'm still going to college, and why I don't just have a normal job and have money. -.- *heavy sigh* Yes, manga. I will make one. I WILL. It's not I MIGHT. I WILL. I refuse to lose. I just need to remember that.

This tea isn't sweet enough. I'm almost out of this chai. Elf, where do you get your chai? It was really tasty.

Right, this is where the rest of everything comes in, lol. XD Um, I spent the night at Elf's house last night, which was pretty fun. XD I had pancake fish things with cream cheese (Can't think of the name of them right now. So there.) for breakist. It was really good. And then I was promptly given the low down on her and Dee's story. ( these people being myriai and thepiskie^^ ) It's pretty awesome, acutally. They have all this stuff figured out, and it's really intersting. (And has a HAPPY ENDING!! THANK YOU!!!)

So, of course, on my way home (besides getting a little lost and crossing over the riverbottom and stuff XD) I was thinking about my story. Bouncing idea's around and all that jazz, lol. And the thing that kept coming back up, was? You guessed it-

Mikail.

You didn't guess it, did you? *laughs* Anyway, yeah, this is annoying. Why? Because lately, whenever I think about him, he's a tan boy. -.- For those of you who don't know, I wanted a vamp Lu-Wen for him. And now he wants to be a tan doll? GRAAAH!!! Darn it, STICK to a mold, you jerk!!! Like, I'll look at him, and he isn't snerky like Alex, or is he? Does he look TO much like Alex? Will a face up make him not look so snarky? Does he look snarky at all? He's not suppose to be snarky, he'r suppose to be, like... a imposing presence. Like, evil, but not inside. Definitely intimidating. I want to get a Senior Delf body for him, so he'll be a little taller, with a little bigger hands. (I LOVE hands... Haaaands...) But-but-but... *whines* I do think that's right... I don't think he has tan skin, though that would work well too... Am I just second guessing myself? Am I just being stupid about this because I don't have money and I'm flipping from waiting for Alex? I'm not REALLY distressed about it, but then, I am....

Jeez, I really shouldn't worry about this... i shoudl just write more of the story, and wait until I have money before debating over all this stuff. Right?

Also, I can't beleive a Luts boy is only $450 now. -.- A LIMITED boy is $450. Seriously, that's like, $100 less than I payed for Shin two years (2? Or one? 2? O.O Freaky.) ago.

Also, my Luts order fianlly shipped!! It shipped today!! ^^ So it should be here in a few days! *happy dance* Wig and eyes~! Now I just need the body, and VIOLA!! ALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!! *frantic excited dancing*

Also, Lynwood is here. (OMG, there'sa doll spending the night here that isn't my own!!) He's up there... holding Alex (who i swore wasn't going to get Shin's body, since he's getting his own. T-T I'm sorry Shin... but I don't really want Lyn's huggling you. And he has to huggle somebody, or he begins doing strange things. >>;;;) ..... >.> <.< I'm... worried? They are looking ok now, but earlier, Lynwood had this really freaky glint in his eye. Litterally, his eye was shining. Not a joke.

Manga Rent v.3(?) and Lack of Information

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 07:22:22 GMT

I STILL DON"T KNOW. T-T I gues sthat means it hasn't shipped yet, huh? Nothing has shipped yet. I'm not really worried, it's not like they are late or anything... I'm just REALLY impatient for my stuff to get here. T-T I want it badly. Alex's body... I want him to be complete. It's really hard to relize how much you want your doll to be fully complete until the rest of it's parts are on the way. -.- How terrible is that? *laugh* But now, all I can do is save for Fanime. I'm trying really hard not to look at anything I can actually buy, even though I so dearly want to buy them clothes. i can make clothes, and I have been wanting to sew, I just start something else and never do it. And then I tell myself to wait for Alex's body, so I can make clothes for his body, not Shin's body, just to make sure it fits and all...

I want it. Badly.

So, to rid myself of that, let's talk about MANGA!! On the menu: Fruits Basket v.22 and Skip Beat! v.17. If you haven't rea dup to these, there might be spoliers in my rantings. >.< you has been warned.

So, let's start with Skip Beat. because, SERIOSULY, Ren is awesome. I get so excited when he gets that dazrk look on his face, it makes me very very happy. XD It shouldn't make me happy that he's mad, escpecially since half the timne it's scared Kyoko to death, lol. but it's so awesome and intense when he's mad!! ESCPECIALLY when he saw reino and Kyoko (SPOILER) struggling over the stone, and grabbed his arm, witht hat look of 'I'm going to bash your face in'. *dreamy sigh* Lol, i felt like the grudge Kyoko freaking out over the beautiful hate waves. *squee* i love it when he get's upset over her. Men should get upset over the girls they like, right? And this is escpecially potent because not only does she have no clue, but he doesn't WANT her to have a clue. It's so wonderful!! I cannot accurately express how much this makes me happy, but it REALLY does. A LOT. I SERIOSULY love this manga.

Needless to say, if Ren and Kyoko don't end up together (even though I know they will) I will be enraged. if you haven't read this series, you definitely should. ^^ There's a little bit of everything for everyone.

Next? Furuba. Ahhh~ I'm so happy. Even though there is only one manga left to go... That's ok though, it's been a wonderful read. And I have a feeling it will have a satisfactory ending. ^^ I hope she manages to sqeez in a littl emore of HatorixMayu in there, but I don't know, lol. OMG MACHI IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! Ah, she's so PERFECT for Yuki!!! It's so WONDERFUL!! And then Kureno and Uo-chan? YAY!!! THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!!! I LOVE it when things end uyp aright.

And... i think I like Akito now. -.- I have mixed feeling sbaout liking her... I hated her so much before, lol. but now. she's so much better... I'm glad she turned out ok. XD And darn it Shigure, if you don't grab this up now, your a freakin' IDIOT that everyone has always said you are. he better shape up, lol. I'm glad Furuba is ending so satisfactorily, unlike HanaKimi, though I do love that series. T-T I just wish it ended better. This is ending nicely. <333

Master, but Not.

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 02:33:55 GMT

Hello. Um, I have decided to post my sotry, Well, not really my story, but parts of it. Oh, your wondering what story? This is the story behind my dolls, behind Shin and the gang. This specific chapter thing is about Alex's past. Maybe I'm in the mood for him, since his body will come to me hopefully soon. Um, I'm going to make another post after this, but that will be about life and stuff. I wanted to post this seperatly because, well...

I would really appreciate it if you read it. >/////< Um, maybe that's selfish, but there are a few of you that I would really want to read this. You people I respect and admire. I would really, really like for you to read this. To read my story. It would make me very happy. >/////< Ugh, I feel foolish for saying so, but it would make me happy. I posted this on dA too, but there are people here who are not on dA, who I want to read this.

So, if you would, please...

“If you leave, you will regret it.”

Small fangs bared as Alex hissed softly, glaring at the beautiful man before him. “But Master! How can you want to leave? They are asking for our help! How can you abandon them?” The vampire lifted his hand smoothly, pushing perfect straight hair back over a shoulder, his vivid blue eyes looking towards his fledgling. “I was never with them, so it is impossible for me to ‘abandon’ them. They are not asking for help Alex, they are asking for control.” Alex frowned, shaking his head angrily, curly blond hair bouncing about his shoulders. “I don’t understand.” “It is not necessary that you do.” Red eyes flared angrily as Alex’s gaze snapped back to his Master, his hand reaching out and slamming down on the table in front of him. “How can you say that? Don’t you care what I think at all?!” His Master sat there a moment, his eyes staring at the back of Alex’s hand as his still face remained passive, as it always did. He finally looked up, shifting one leg up, crossing it over his other knee. “…You know I care what you think.” “Well, you aren’t acting like it. Why won’t you at least tell me why you don’t want to help them?” “It isn’t necessary to help them. They do not need help.” Alex growled, his hand’s lifting, sliding into his hair and clenching tightly in frustration. “Why would they ask for it if they don’t need it? They were practically begging!” The older vampire shook his head slightly. “They are lying, putting on an act in an attempt to get me to stay.” Alex turned, glaring out the window at the dismal gray skies, hands sliding from his hair and crossing tightly over his chest. “You’re so conceited.” “It is not conceit. It is the truth. They targeted you, because you are young. They think if they can convince you to stay, then I will stay as well.” Alex’s shoulders tensed, his fingers digging into the cloth covering his arms as he looked down, angry eyes burning holes in the tiled floor. “…So …I am pointless?”

Silence answered his question. He spun, lashing out at his Master’s perfectly sculpted face. A hand flickered from the other’s lap, and caught his wrist, jerking his arm and making Alex stumble. He fell to his knees, landing with his arms in the other man’s lap, angry tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Slumping, the young vampire bit back a whimper, burying his face in the silk folds of the robes covering his Master’s form. “That’s… that’s so mean, Master…” The older vampire’s hand gently released his wrist, his other hand settling on Alex’s downturned head, fingers smoothing through the curly locks. “…You are not pointless to me, Alex. But to them, you mean hardly anything at all. You are hardly more than a bratty child.” Alex bit his lip, fingers clutching cloth in their grasp as he shook his head. “But… they said they needed me. Every vampire they could get, they said… they want to unify the world, how could they not need me?” Blue eyes stared down at him, long fingers pausing in Alex’s hair. “…To do the things they said, they wouldn’t need you. They would need me.”

Alex suddenly pushed back, scrambling to his feet. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes, glaring at the man who had made him what he was now. “…You’re lying. I still believe in others, even if you don’t.” He spun, moving towards the door. “Alex. If you leave, I will not go with you.” The young vampire paused, turning and looking back at the one sitting behind him, blue eyes staring calmly back at his angry red. “…Then I guess this is goodbye.” And he turned, moving through the doorway without looking back.

Pink eyes snapped open, a soft gasp pulling in Alex’s lungs as he sat up, wide eyes staring at the last images of his dream fading from his mind. A tight, shuddering breath left him, and he quickly looked about his room, trying to anchor himself back into reality. It had been… eight years? Yes, eight years since he had left his Master… since he had walked out of that room. His hands clenched the bed sheets covering his form as his knee’s pulled up slightly, eyes continuing to move across his dark room. He could hear Mikail’s soft breathing in the bed beside his own, and he focused on it, trying to match his tremulous breaths to the sleeping vampire’s.

He… hadn’t had that dream in a while. Dark pink eyes closed, long curly hair brushing against his cheek as he hung his head. Why now? He didn’t have an answer, but he wasn’t sure he wanted one… he usually dreamed of his Master when something bad was about to happen, or had just happened. His hands loosened their tight grip on the sheets as he shook his head slightly, eyes opening to slits and staring down at his knees. The words his Master had said… he had never forgotten them. Especially now that he knew how true they were. They were almost always in his thoughts, repeating in that beautiful voice that he missed so much. How right his Master had been about the cult Alex was now a part of. He smiled bitterly at the word, shaking his head. ‘Cult. How disgusting that sounds…` He hadn’t seen it as that before. Oh no, he had once glorified the group of vampires, the vampires that called themselves the Covent. He had worshipped their ideals, completely bound under the spell of their words. The words that had failed to capture his Master as they had him. No, his Master was not stupid enough to be caught by their lies. His Master was one of the ancient vampires, who had been around nearly since the beginning of time. They had wanted to fool him, to bind him to them, and they had failed.

No, not even Alex joining them could make his Master do something he knew was wrong. And now, Alex wished he had listened, wished he had never left his Masters side. Because, of course, his Master had been right, right about everything. The Covent was nothing but a group of power hungry vampires, wanting to control their small town with complete rule, instead of the half rule they had now. And now Alex was under their control, like a dog on a chain…

“Master?” He jolted, head snapping up and looking into Mikail’s bright red eyes. “Ah, Mikail…” His hand lifted, quickly brushing at his eyes as he laughed weakly. “I-I didn’t hear you wake up…” Mikail’s hand caught his wrist, and he moved closer, looking worriedly into Alex’s eyes. “…you’re crying…” Alex looked at him, a small, pained smile crossing his lips. “…I’m alright…” Mikail frowned, shaking his head. “I… can tell you aren’t. I can… feel it…” Alex blinked, realization dawning in his mind. He had just changed Mikail into a vampire two weeks ago… Mikail was still getting use to it. He remembered very clearly how confused he had been when he had been changed, how sharply he had seen things, felt things. Especially his Masters feelings, since the connection between a master and his fledgling was strongest when the inexperienced vampire was first created.

He opened his arms, and Mikail quickly moved into them, hugging him tightly as Alex wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “I’m sorry… I forgot. You’re right…” He sighed softly in Mikail’s soft black hair, finger running over the thick locks idly. “I had… a dream. Of someone I miss very much…” Mikail nodded slightly, his eyes closing. “Yes, you feel sad…” Alex nodded. “…I am. I think… I hurt him. But I am paying for it now…” He paused, leaning back slightly and looking at Mikail’s face. He smiled, playfully ruffling the other’s hair. “But you know… I have you now. That means something good came from my stupidity, right?” Mikail smiled, nuzzling him like a young puppy. “Yes, master.” Alex fell silent, looking away from the young vampire in his arms. “…Mikail.” The fledgling opened his eyes, looking up at him. “Yes Master?” “Call me Alex.” Mikail blinked in confusion, frowning slightly. Alex smiled sadly, petting him fondly. “Please.”

“I… am not worthy enough to be called Master."

Thank you very much.

Paaaaaaaaaaaaaainfull.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:21:01 GMT

My head is in pain, and I dunno why. Darn headaxche. So, what shall we do to ignore it? make a post of course!

Of course, in making this post, I'm realizing how much I want my own laptop... I've been trying to hold for my parents to buy me one, lioke they did my brothers, but it's getting reeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard. not that I have money to buy one, but still, this is getting annoying. I don't even try with the old laptop anymore, and the old computer I was going to receive still isn't fixed, and i still can't get it because I haven't finished sorting pictures for dad's website. So I've just been stealing his laptop,this nice nerw shiny thing of glory. But it's really annoying, since it isn't mine, and I can't really save anything on it, and I shouldn't edit photo's on it, and all this nonsense.... Dang it, I really need a laptop of my own. This really sucks. And the suckiness is heightened by my headache. Booo~

So, on to happier things. like the fact that

I ORDERED ALEX'S BODY!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~!!!! ^(O-O)^

Every time I type that out, or say it, i get UBER excited. *happy happy happy dance* Waaah~ I can't WAIT for it to get here!!! Jeez, come to me!! By the powers of all that is dark and evil, I demand that you rise up and MAKE ME A BODYYYYYYY!!!!! Arrrgh, I want it! I'm so happy. I ordered it, and his neck peice form Luts, and his eyes, and two wigs that I may not use. *laugh* I tried to talk myself out of them, but this blue hair... *sigh* I love this wig and I hate this wig. Like, it's really gotten me attached to Alex, and he really seems to be enjoying it, and him having blu ehair isn't that much of a stretch. But it's so POOFY and thick! I dunno, i dunno. So i had to order these other ones. -.- How terrible... but you can neve rhave to many wigs, right?

Speaking of which, Lorien's new wig should be here by now, I think. A friend at college ordered me one! Isn't that crazy sweet? She's so cool, she feeds me lunch every day, and now she's getting me a wig?! 8D How AWESOME!! but seriosuly, she's an awesomely cool person. I've never seen her without her fedora, and she's funny, and I have converted her to DOLL-DOM!! She's getting a Ttoshi from Luts, who should be here by the end of this month. ^^ And I might get to put the faceup on him!! Lol, I'll do my best not to steal the adorableness. T-T Everyone around me is getting Mini's, it's so difficult. All the cuteness... *wants wants*

*laugh* Let's see, on another completely random note, Yoshiki Nakamura, the mangaka of Skip Beat! draws AMAZING HANDS!!! Aaaaaah, they are so pretty. *stary gaze* i so need ot go tot he bookstore. The next manga should be out now! And the next Fruiots basket should be out Tuesday! 8D Lol, and I accidently bought SA vol.4, when i don't even have vol.3. >.< I thought I had 3... ah well.

Also, you know your a nerd when on a Saturay night, instead of doing anything with anyone, you sit at home and watch Star Wars IV on TV with your dolls. And then sing the theme songs when they come on, and make your dolls' hands do directing motions. And talk to him not only about the commercials in between, but the actual movie itself, which you have had to seen at least 100 times now. ^^ Yes, life is good.

So yes. Life is wonderous right now, despite my headache. ^^ But it's begining to fade away! *dances* Hooray, Advil is finally working! Anyway, that's all! ^^ Thanks for reading my wackiness!

Seriously? No joke?

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:00:05 GMT

Not joking. Today was something... amazing. I think that's the only way to describe today's events, as amazing. because seriously, what are the chances of this?

So let's begin. School was fine this morning. I went to Math, where i received a wonderful strike of inspiration for my character, who will be the Dollzone Mo I want. With this epiphany, i was able to blend him into the story in such an amazingly delicate and smooth way, as well as cement his personality in my mind. I am very, very pleased with this. I am uber excited to get him now, because he will be so much fun. -^^- In a nutshell, he's a mechanical genius who is right now working as a doctor, but use to make android like beings for an underground city, where they have these 'Games' where diffrent teams of these android creations fight in an arena. (that's all fun and complicated, so I won't delve into it too much.) But he created these things, but when he finally was able to see one of the 'games', he hated it. His vcreations were destroying each other for sport, and he loathed it with his entire being. So he escaped from that place, and vowed never to make anythign like that again. Of course now, it's been a few years, and he can't stop himself from creating. He's all conflicted because he want's to create these beings, but he doesn't want the people in the city to find out he is, and take away what he has created.

Also, when he was 15, there was a mechanical accident that froze his body to remain that of a 15 year old, so even though he's a 1/4 and looks like a kid, he's acctually, like, 35.

So that was happiness. Then I went to Science, and had an easy test (open notes, open book. Woot), so I was able to get out early. Which was also awesome, becasue then I got to go to Sarah's, and see her new dollie, which arrived today!! WOOOT! She is SO cute!! But I won't rant on her, I'll leave that to Sarah, lol.

So the day was awesome so far. I left Sarah's because I had to get home. This is when the unbeleiveableness began.

I was getting off of one freeway and onto another, heading home. I glanced over my shoulder to switch lanes, and make sure no one was in the spot. When I looked back, all I could see was the bright red brake lights of the person in front of me. I yanked the wheel to the left, swerving to miss their bumper and going into the lane beside me. My car started to fishtail. My mind was completely blank, without even a single thought passing through. So I began to fishtail, back and forth, my car's brakes locking as i mindlessly turned the wheel to avoid hitting the car's around me. I ended up doing a complete spin, across three lanes of busy freeway, and facing oncomoing traffic in the far left carpool lane.

The freaky part? No one hit me. I didn't hit anyone. Seriously, I spun across three lanes of freeway, and not a single person hit me. It's freakin amazing. Like, HOLY CRAP. I and my car came out unscathed. I turned on my car, rightened myself, and drove home.

So, I was done, right? I was laying on my bed like 'I am not going to move until tomorrow.'

No such luck. My dad comes in, and I tell him what happened. He ask's me if I can go pick up a receipt and refund from this pool place. So, in my head, I'm screaming, because I REALLY DONM'T WANT TO DRIVE for the rest ofp the day. But no, I tell myslef 'It will be ok, it's not that far, just go, come back, and then you can veg for the rest of the day.'

So I get to the place, and everything is good. I get in my car, turn it on, and begin to head out of the parking lot. Shudder shudder shudder DIE. I pull into a parking space and let my car sit for a little bit, my mind begining to curse the machines existance. So I try it again, start heading across the parking lot... shudder shudder shudder DIE.

Hooray. I'm stranded in front of a Family Dollar store in the middle of getto town. I called my dad about five times before calling my brother, since my dad didn't pick up. I tell him what was going on, then I talk to dad. It was about then that I started crying, because life was seriously crap at that point. So dad says they'll coem to tow me home. I hang up, and my mom calls. She's like 'Where are you? I got home early, and you aren't here?' So I start bawling again, sitting in my crap car in the middle of this parking lot, ignoring the mexican music all around me. half an hour later, my brother shows up, and takes me home.

Needless to say, today was certianly soemthing speciel. hatefully so. I NEVER want to experience spinning across the freeway again, watching as the cars come at you and praying that you aren't about to meet metal in your car that was sitting for 13 years, doesn't have a door panel, where nothing works and probably doesn't have airbags.

I am so lucky I wasn't hit.

And I so hate my car.